Yes, you can have email hosted somewhere else. But you will have to set the DNS records temporarily to the values asked by the popup window. Once the external domain is connected to netcup, you can set the DNS records completely to your liking. I know this is not the way it should be, I think it's possible to lose some mail this way, because for a period of time the MX records will point to a mail server, that will not accept incoming mails because the user (mail address) doesn't exist (on this server).
So, I think this should be handled in a better way. I'm pretty sure it is possible to prove ownership of the domain in another way, e.g. a TXT-record defined by netcup, that needs to be set in the DNS. Some others do it that way. But for the time being we have to live with it here at netcup.
That worked 
Thank you again
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